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Monday, November 17, 2008

Nipple confusion

This is an excerpt from a real conversation this morning. For your enjoyment, the names have not been changed to protect the innocent.
Joe, from right side of cow: "My hand is cramping up, I can barely control where I'm aiming this thing."
Jocelyn, from at least a yard away, on other side of Clara: "Well, that explains it. I kept wondering why you were grabbing my nipple. (pause) And by that I mean Clara's nipple."

LOL. And that's why we have a cow. Because, really, who else out there is having such enriching conversation? And by enriching, I mean hilarious. Because we were laughing really loudly for it being 6:30 a.m. and 25 degrees out.

Our cow venture is going quite well now. We are into the swing of things. Milking, drinking, cheesing, feeding chickens, etc. Clara has gotten used to hand-milking, and so have my hands.

And, 102.5 is playing Christmas music. And Clara likes it, so that's what we listen to in the barn (and the house, but I can't blame that on Clara. Must be Cade.)

Well, one last thing. We also have a magical beer-producing cow. We milk out 2 gallons, and poof! it turns into a growler of beer. Last week it was a delicious wheat ale. This week, there's a growler of cocoa stout in the fridge. Let me just say that this might be the best part of owning and caring for Clara. The beer.

Anyway, I really need to get going. This time of night is supposed to be family time.
Gotta go eat dinner and watch Avonlea.



Pamela said...

Wow. I am really impressed? Shocked? Something-ed? That you could confuse a cow teat-tie for one of your own.

But just as long as you're having fun, that's all that counts, right?

threecollie said...

Ha, that is hilarious. I am so glad you are getting things worked out with Clara, but I feel really sorry for you having to hand milk. That is hard, hard work and I admire you for undertaking it. Been there and done that in another life and I am profoundly grateful for the magical milking machine...of course we have fifty of them but still...I am confused about the beer part though. lol

Anonymous said...

Morning Joce-

Farming can be a laugh a minute.
Glad to hear stories of Clara. She was always a dear. How much milk are you getting? Just wondering if her production kept up with the move?
9 wks and we will have baby goats!!
I with you on Christmas spirit! Love the holiday and use its cheer for all it is worth-Liz

DayPhoto said...

I love your story! I got lost on the beer thing though. We milked for years, but not by hand, by machine. I admire you on the hand milking, that is a real chore.

On the other hand, real milk is a wonderful treat. Are you going to raise a pig or two on the skim milk?

On another note, may I link your blog to mine. I may have asked you already, but I can't remember the answer.


Rebz said...

Yes, please, Linda, link up! And the beer thing? I have a new friend who trades me homebrew for realmilk.
That is an unexpected benefit of owning a cow. LOL. Beer for milk, I am all in. Last week it was a wheat ale and this week it's a cocoa stout. Now you can't beat that.

Rebz said...

OH, and Liz, we are getting about 3 1/2 gallons a day. 2 in the morning and a gallon and a half at night. And that is plenty for us for now.
And Linda- we are definitely getting a pig, and maybe some turkeys this spring.

Hanna said...

You may be interested to know that your husband also grabbed my nipple last night... which puts a whole new spin on our milking date...
Also, you know what footsie is?
Yeah, he was doing that to my hands... so what would you call that? Handsie? It's not a Hand-job, I KNOW what those are... Opps sorry, sometimes pervy Hanna just can't be controlled.

Rebz said...

OMIGOSH Hanna! There's rules about that kind of stuff in the barn. LOL.

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About Me
I love Jesus, my hubby, my 6 kiddos, my farm, good books and good food.