I'm glad I did. Because it's good to know that at least I'm weird in a God way. Because there is no question I am weird. People's facial expressions when speaking with me as of late have provided all the confirmation I needed in case I wasn't already completely convinced of my weird-ness.
The puzzled expressions about why we would host a child from Latvia in our home, at Christmas, the busiest time of year, when I am 8 months pregnant, when we already have 'our hands full,' when she obviously wasn't 'starving in Latvia or anything,' when there are plenty of American children who need stuff, when we're not sure how it might affect our biological children, etc, etc.
The straight up confusion when we say that we'll go where God leads- even into an international adoption that requires three trips overseas and, oh, about 30,000 dollars. If God leads us, we will follow.
The main question that people seem to be struggling with is, "Why?" Why spend so much money to host a child for 4 weeks? Why consider expensive international adoption when you obviously have no trouble making your own kids?
Katie Davis, author of Kisses from Katie, and adoptive mother of 14 girls, answers some of the why questions with wisdom and grace in this excerpt from her book:
"A sweet friend pointed me yesterday to Genesis Chapter 33. Esau and Jacob are meeting for the first time in a long time. As Jacob approaches Esau, with his many children following close behind, Esau asks, “ And who are these with you?”
Jacob’s reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”
We get all the questions. “Why do you do it?” “Why so many?” “How in the world…” “Why these specific girls?” “Why the number 14?” “Do you think its ok to adopt as a single Mother? Don’t they need a father too?” “Do you think they will have issues since you are not the same race?” We also get the compliments. “I don’t know how you do it!” “Good job!” “You must be so responsible!” “Your girls must be so well behaved.” We get crazy stares and huge smiles and every look in between.
Adoption is beautiful. Adoption is hard. Adoption is the Gospel of Christ and the promise of God’s love and redemption lived out in our lives. So I ask for your prayers. Prayers for understanding and peace and trust and the power of God that is more than all I can ask or imagine. And to the questions and the comments and the compliments, this is my reply: “These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.”"
For these four weeks the Lord has seen fit to bless me with a ten year old girl, in addition to the 3 I have already given birth to, and the one currently sitting on my bladder. These are the children the Lord saw fit to bless me with this Christmastime.
I know I am weird. I am listening to a still small voice that leads me on a narrow path that few can comprehend and even fewer choose to take. When God gives a direction, I follow it. If God sees fit to bless me with a child for four weeks, I will feel as blessed and honored and humbled as when He puts little people in my womb. If God leads me on a path that involves money I don't have and travel beyond my wildest Rick Steves' Europe PBS dreams- WOW! Cool. Let's see how He works THIS one out.
Why did we host? Because God told us to. Directly and generally: "God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains:" Psalm 68:6
Anastasija has not been lonely these last few weeks. In fact she could probably stand a little less attention from a certain 4 year old. She has shared a room with a 'sister' and earned a place in the heart of a two year old who asks, "Where's 'Nastasija?" She has been snuggled and loved and doted on. She has been accepted and cared for. She has been set in a family. God did that, because that's what He DOES.
The Joy of the Lord is my Strength