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Monday, April 21, 2008

So, I am getting ready to go to the grocery store. As I am carrying the carseat out to install, Cornelius comes running over to attack me. I can't take this kind of stress! I can't even go to the grocery store! I feel kind of bad because he really is a beautiful rooster, but we're gonna have to chop his head off ASAP. It's NOT okay to chase the lady of the house around the yard. The worst part is, this is not my first experience being bullied by birds. When I was little, my sister had a boyfriend or something who's parents had a teepee. It was cool. But, they also had geese- and that stupid gander chased all around that yard while I screamed my fool head off before the boyfriend or whatever came and chased the goose away from me. And then, MY parents got geese and THAT stupid gander would chase me all over the yard. The worst part of my day would be after I got off the bus and I had to walk down our very long driveway knowing that at any second that gosh darn goose was gonna come out of nowhere at me.
My last point of safety was the buck barn. I would stand there and yell for my mom, but sometimes she wouldn't hear me! I would stand there and yell for my dog to come get me, but sometimes he didn't hear me. My heart would start to pound as I realized I was gonna have to get there all by myself.
Well, Cornelius must have fowl informants so he knows just how to intimidate me and bring back all those memories and feelings. Joe says I can take the 22 and shoot him so I can go to the grocery store, but that wouldn't really solve my dilemma. I need to kick his butt and get some self respect. But, I am too much of a wimp. I can't take the stress!
Well, I gotta go take care of these babies- they are crying like the world is about to end.
XOXO
Joce

2 comments:

lissakaye said...

My grandmother used to keep geese. The big white ones. They used to chase my sisters and I, and so we'd retaliate by kicking them. This might make us horrible, but we celebrated when one of the geese was swimming in the pond and was killed by a snapping turtle. I admire you for standing up to Cornelius. :)

intensesimplicity said...

Joce, I should have Sean tell you his crazy bird stories. I am certain that his mom was threatened on several occasions. There are many stories of bizarre things they did with the headless dumb cluck parading around the yard. Sorry I haven't posted any comments in a while. If you read my most recent post you'll get an idea why:)

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About Me
I love Jesus, my hubby, my 6 kiddos, my farm, good books and good food.