Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
That verse just makes me breathe deep and slow. It reminds me to lay my burdens down at the feet of the one who can actually make it all turn out right in the end. I don't know why I ever pick those weights back up, but somehow the enemy convinces me that it's my job to hold on to them, and that if I don't it will all go south and it'll be all my fault. ugh.
So, I am thankful today for the book Desperate, by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. Because they remind me to lay it down and let God do it.
They reminded me that this, motherhood, is my ministry right now. That God gave these people to me. God gave these people to me. 1. It's God's job to direct their growth and development and personhood and keep them safe, because they are His. 2. He chose these specific people to be my children. He hand picked them to be in my home. 3. He chose ME to be their mother. Every time I feel like I am failing these children, that I am not enough, that is a lie. God decided in His wisdom that I should raise these kids. They will grow to be who God wants them to be through their relationship with me as their mother. God said something like, "Okay....now. Anastasija, Brilyn, Cade, Jessup, and Arwyn....let's see- yes, right here, Ah! Jocelyn. Jocelyn should be their mother. Perfect."
If I do nothing else- bake no pies for my neighbors, write zero notes of encouragement, direct no choir, lead not-a-one worship service, I am still doing immeasurable work in God's kingdom. I cannot fathom what impact my work this day (serving food, teaching math, changing diapers, correcting subject/verb agreement, encouraging the letter L to sound like lalala not wawawa) will have on my children as they grow, much less what impact it will have on people near and far who will interact with my kids as they grow, and what impact it will have on generations to come! God has this ability to take a small offering from the hand of broken weakling (that's me) and multiply it using infinity math. Suddenly, one small act of obedience becomes the beginning of a great plan of God. (see Abraham and Sarah for a mediocre example.)
The authors also reminded me that motherhood is no joke- it's hard, it's hard, and it's hard. And! It's important, important, and important. "Understanding that the best and most lasting "work" I would ever do was wrapped up in my call as a mother gave me a grand scope for my life such as I had never known before....I was just beginning to grasp how profound God had created the role of mother to be." (p. 11)
They also suggest that you get a group of women to surround you in your role of mother. People to keep truth in your mind, and to gently wipe away the dark lies. On my own, in my own strength, I end up facing failure, anger, stress, and exhaustion. With a community of lovely ladies around me, in God's strength, I find grace, joy, patience, and hope!
I asked for prayer a few weeks ago during worship practice. I can't even remember what my request was. But after we said "amen" one of the worship team members said to me, "You know, as we were praying, I just got the feeling that the word for you is "rest" God wants you to hear, "rest."
To this exhausted mama of 5, that word spoke some sort of peace to my soul that is hard to dscribe. It brought tears of relief to my eyes. Like a cool drink on a hot day. Seriously. And that rest is found in Jesus. He takes my fears, anxiety, and weakness and gives me rest. Amen to that!
So, lay it down, mama. God's got this one, okay? Pray for wisdom, BAM! It's yours. Go to Jesus, BAM! Rest for your soul.
Enjoy that. :)