So, I read a blog post that I liked. And I wrote a huge long comment. I was like, man, my posts aren't even this long usually. So.
Here's the link to the post.
And here's my comment (with a few alterations to make it more post-y):
I agree that it IS SO HARD to understand your spouse's gift style. It makes you want to change how that person gives and RECEIVES gifts. But. It doesn't work that way. It shows more love on your part to give how the other person enjoys receiving.
I like a gift that says you know me...so ice cream, chocolate, books, and warm fuzzy things (like socks, mittens, etc.) make me feel so happy. Expensive gifts don't mean much to me unless they are something I really need.
Like Towels. I could use a new set of towels for my bathroom. LOL.
Maybe my husband will read that? HAHAHAHA.
Every thoughtful gift (the ones I didn't eat that is) I have ever received is placed carefully in my home so that I see them frequently. Because when I see them, I feel loved.
Anyway, my husband doesn't like gifts at all. He thinks they are shallow. Buy what you need at a good price when it becomes available. He thinks things are just that. Things.
However, a clean house or a job marked off his to-do list without him having to do it makes him feel so loved. This thought is as hard to cram into my brain as my liking presents is for his brain. Honestly, I just don't like to do dishes and I don't understand how that is a present to him. But It Is.
So, slowly, we have tried to get this down. And, when he doesn't get me a gift, (Like for Mother's Day and our anniversary yesterday- not kidding-) I remember that he really does love me and he shows me in a different way. Like, he let me sleep in yesterday. He did all the outdoor chores, milked the cow, and gave the kids a snack, a movie, and directions not to wake the mommy. All before he left for work. So, I knew I was loved. And, he did the grocery shopping while I was at choir practice. I knew enough to put "ice cream for Jocelyn" on the list, and he knew enough to get chocolate with peanut butter swirl. :)
Learn to give and receive gifts according to your spouse's style. It's cool like being bilingual. You can speak it AND understand it.