I don't have the power.
I have been struggling with this. I don't have what it takes to do the job. I'm not kind enough, patient enough, selfless enough. I'm too tired. My head hurts. My back hurts. I'm discouraged.
And then, come to find out, that is exactly where God wants me.
2 Corinthians 12: 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Sarah Young, in Jesus Calling, says it this way; "Lacking time, energy, money - consider
yourself blessed. Your very lack is an opportunity to latch onto Me in unashamed
dependence... Awareness of your inadequacy is a rich blessing, training you to
rely wholeheartedly on Me." (125)
I love the phrase 'latch onto Me in unashamed dependence." As a nursing mama, I know what that looks like. It is precious. I can understand why God wants me in this place. I can be thankful for this job for which I am so ill equipped like James* says, because it will bring me to a place of lovely, sweet, childlike dependence on my heavenly Father. And that is a cozy place to be.
And I can be joyful in knowing that because of my weakness, I am going to do a better job than if I was strong. That is so counterintuitive. But, because I am weak,this job will get done with God's strength. I think we can all agree that my strength on my best day is nothing compared to God's strength on my weakest day. So, praise God, I don't have what it takes to do this job- so it's going to get done right.
So, count it all joy my friends- consider it an opportunity for great joy- consider it nothing but joy- all joy count [it]- deem ye all joy- consider it pure joy- count it exceeding joy- consider it wholly joyful-consider it a sheer gift- count it all joy.
*My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,