Sometimes I write with the fact that other people read what I write in mind. Sometimes I just write what needs to be written. Today is an example of the latter.
I am overwhelmed. I have prayed to God that He would "break my heart for what breaks yours." And, He has answered. Sometimes grief for this world just washes over me. It happened early this morning as I was tucking my sweet fat baby into her crib, and she was smiling and eating her feet and just looking at me with the greatest trust. I felt a twinge of sadness for the number of women who do not receive that gift- but prevent it through various methods of birth control or who have their child murdered and allow that awful violence against their own child to occur inside the God-given ultimate safety of their womb. They have believed the lie that their life is better with few or no children, and that bearing children is not as worthy as other pursuits. And their lives are barren, not blessed, because of it.
And then, at breakfast, I was reading World magazine about China's one child policy. They mentioned the story of Feng Jianmei, who was violently forced to have an abortion at 7 months; a photo was taken of her dead baby lying next to her on the hospital bed. How can I just go about my day when that is happening? My heart is broken. My stomach is in knots. My hands are balled into fists and my teeth are clenched.
God have mercy on China. God have mercy on the US. God have mercy on us who do little or nothing to turn this tide.
If we do nothing else, I pray that we will at least take this Proverb to heart:
31:8"Open your mouth for the speechless,
In the cause of all who are appointed to die.
9 Open your mouth, judge righteously,
And plead the cause of the poor and needy."
When this latest story of China's aggregious human rights violations came out a while back, I did not want to learn more about it. I did not want to think about what happened to Feng. I did not click on the links. I did not look at the picture. But God's heart is broken and He has broken mine despite my efforts to turn away from that kind of pain. It's too close to my heart. It's too much.
But God has a good plan. There is hope. There is life. There is light. And it's me. It's you. We are to be hope and life and light to this world. I pray that God helps me to shine in the dark places. That He leads me today to the person who needs light. That this grief in my deepest soul will be productive. That I will not turn away from the pain in the world and hide in my comfy space.
God has lit a fire in my soul and I will let it consume me.
Would you pray? Will you get on your knees and pray for the end of forced abortion in China? Will you pray that women's eyes will be opened in America that children are not a "punishment" but a gift?
Shine out children of God. Let's shine.