An encouragement to parents for today:
I have found the one thing that works for all parents and all kids and all kinds of naughty- keep going. Shy kid bordering on rudeness? Keep encouraging. Wakey kid that won't stay in bed? Keep putting them back in bed. ADD kid that won't look at his math book? Keep pointing at the numbers and asking for an answer. Loud kid with elephant feet? Keep reminding to talk and walk lightly- the baby is sleeping for heaven's sake!
For every behavior that we have worked to correct, with every kid, the common factor to success has been -keep going. Don't give up. Don't despair. Don't label: "stubborn" "slow-poke" "shy" "hyper" - just keep working
With Patience. You are not a failure if your kiddo does the same less-than-desirable behavior 100 times or 1000 times. I can now look back and see that the things I didn't "know how to deal with" are now things that are dealt with. What did I do? How did I do it? By keeping going.
It's not just me. I've seen close-up other parents with kids who were brats. And I would think, "They are pretty good parents, why is their kid a brat*?" And then I would see those kids go from bratty to nice. How did it happen? They KEPT GOING. They didn't say, "Oh, my kid's a brat, I guess that's all there is to it." They persevered. They didn't have all the answers. They didn't know how long it would take. But they didn't give up.
I'll give you an example. When I was little, my mom would say about clothes, "When you take it off, hang it up or put it in the hamper." Well, now that I'm 33, I'm almost there. "Don't put it down, put it where it goes." Again, getting close at this point. My poor mother. She said those things 'til she was blue in the face' and I'm just getting there now. So, even if you don't see the effect of your effort, keep going. You are training a people. That rude messy little chubby terror is a people. Take a chill pill and repeat yourself till you are blue in the face. Never give up! Never give in!
Now, aren't you encouraged?
XO
*brat- used loosely and jokingly
